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saRAH2332
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Name: Sarah
Country: United States
State: Wisconsin
Metro: Milwaukee
Gender: Female
Interests: volleyball - the one thing in the world I would do every day for the rest of my life; soccer - I used to play and love to watch; Brewers - yeah Weeks, die Jenkins; Badgers - like any good Wisconsin girl; keraoke revolution - Norah Jones is my bitch!; Family Guy - giggety giggety, let's have sex!; dancing - like nobodies watching; eating - mint chip ice cream, thai is my favorite, but I love chinese... yummy; laughing my ass off; reading - mostly fantasy, Robin McKinley is my favorite author; Alias - yes, I'm in love with Jennifer Garner, take it or leave it; Anatomy... and whatever comes to mind when you read that - the answer is yes
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/25/2005
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| by: Death Cab for Cutie
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
yeah... so i'm obsessed with this song right now... don't know why, but i love it. that's all | | |
| i figured out that whole crying thing... i got my period this
morning... whooooo... errr not. i'm out of food... and creative effort
to discover new things to eat... blah... need food... must eat...
something other than oatmeal. surprisingly i'm finally sick of it...
great, i'm sick of the only food i have a surplus of. typical
| | |
| just
feel like crying... can't really say why... maybe it was grey's
anatomy... so much anxiety, and death, it was a powerful show. maybe
it's the song "in the sun" by joseph arthur... it's just my mood...
just my tone... just exactly me right now... there's something that's
so sad about the song, and i can't place it. but it touches my heart in
a way that makes me want to cry. interesting. and one would think that
i'd avoid such a song... but no, i've been playing it over and over and
over. just listening. trying to figure it all out. last night i had a
dream that i was visiting a differant college campus. i guess is was
suppose to be madison, but it was a completely differant place. but my
dad was showeing me around so it had to have been madison b/c he worked
on campus for 30 years... weird... anyway, then it turned into me
shopping in a grocery store... but it was a race... or something...
damn. my mind never shuts off... should read. but my eyes are tired.
they're always tired. i think i need stronger glasses. yep. today was
good. i can't tell you why, but it was.
oh, here is the poem jesse just sent me that actually made me cry... haha, how ironic
YOUR COMPASSIONATE FRIEND
by Steven L. Channing
I can tell by that look friend, that you need to talk,
So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.
See, I'm not like the others - I won't shy away,
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died and you need to be heard,
But they don't want to hear a single word.
They tell you your child's "with God", so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow seem wrong.
They're just hurting for you and trying to say,
They'd give anything to help take your pain away.
But they're struggling with feelings they can't understand
So forgive them for not offering a helping hand.
I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.
I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn,
I'll just stay and listen 'til your night turns to morn.
Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long,
And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.
So just take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare,
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.
See, I owe a debt you can help me repay
For not long ago, I was helped the same way.
As I stumbled and fell thru a world so unreal,
So believe when I say that I know how you feel.
I don't look for praise or financial gain
And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.
I'm just a strong shoulder who'll be here 'til the end-
I'll be your Compassionate Friend.
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| why do I still read Megan's away messages? really weird, it's not like
I still talk to the girl... I just like to gossip I guess, which is
dumb. I mean, I hate losing a friend. weird. I cut all my hair off...
well, I payed a hella amount of $ for a cut and dye... and I hate the
color. it just looks like someone bleached it - like those stupid boys
in high school. the whole varsity soccer team did that one year at my
school. my ex-b/f looked like such a dusche. and now that's all I think
about when I look in the mirror. you big dusche. you payed 55 bucks to
look like a tard. yeah... I think I'm going to buy some hairdye from
walgreens next week and fix it. great... stupid girl. but atleast the
cut is good. I don't remember parts of last night... I had 7 shots in
like a half hour... yeah, well 4=triple sec (so that hardly counts as
2) and 3=tequila... haha, I'm the only one who will drink tequila.
wonder why... haaaa I slept late today... didn't shower, watched
movies, talked to my folks - they're flying me out to visit my aunt in
colorado over spring break. AWESOME! totally my favorite aunt... or
atleast she would be if she lived closer. anyway, I'm exciting. I just
feel like I need an escape - from what I don't really know. maybe
myself. I need to do the dishes really bad. ugh. I should also wash my
sheets... dbl.ugh... I took a nap at like 4 until about 7... that was
nice. but once again - pointless. I didn't feel like going out tonight.
honestly, it just sounds like way too much effort. I'd rather just
smell and sit in my pj's... apparently the tequila loosened up my mouth
last night and I told Christine a lot of stuff... great... I feel like
if I tell someone what I'm thinking and then they get confused, they
understand my constant state of confusion... err... did that make
sense? oh it's all coded, you'll only know if you're in my mind right
now what I'm refering to... I'm missing my 3 hole punch and it's really
bothering me. I need to organize my folders... I don't like it when
they are in such an unorganized mess... hence why I don't like being
confused about life and boys and me... it's all a big mess. yep. that's
the truth... one big confusing mess! I need to use a thesaurous to look
up new words for "confusing" and "mess"... I don't like using the same
world throughout a text... who thinks about that shit. honestly
| | |
| god damn it... I really made a fool of myself last night... I knew I
shouldn't have partied... and especially with Jesse... I was having a
good time, but then Sarah wanted to talk to me about Jesse... so we
did, and I ended up crying... and then Jesse came to talk to me, b/c he
was miserable, and I was miserable, and I cryed more, and he cryed
some... cry cry cry... stupid. it's just not my style to cry like that.
stupid. we left together - took boss, sat out in the rain waiting,
cryed more... came to my place, layed on my bed talking, I stopped
crying by then... but he didn't. I pretty much said that this is it and
we're not getting back together... stupid... love isn't enough for
things to work, it just isn't, it doesn't matter if you get hit by that
feeling, things may still not work out, and then what? total heart ache
that's what. stupid. I can't be in a relationship anymore, I just can't
do it. maybe I don't love him as much as I used to. is that possible?
otherwise we'd be together right? no, school, work, study, study,
study... I'm done partying as much as I used to. it's not me, it's not
what I want. I need space, lot's of it, which = no Jesse... he's still
great, but it doesnt' matter who'd I would potentially be dating, I
want my space. maybe the truth is that I got bored. that always seems
to happen with me. I feel crowded, and bored. I need a break. I need
somthing new. yeah that's me. I won't let anyone get too close. they
just find out too much, and pretty soon they're hurting as much as I
am. maybe this break up hearts more than all the others b/c I was
actually in love. now I need to start over, reinvent myself, and move
on. I'm used to hit by now, it's what I do. but not Jesse. he still
needs me. it bugs me b/c I don't need him anymore, and I just want my
space. we're suppose to watch a movie tomarrow. I'm thinking of
canceling. after this whole stupid crying business, I just can't take
it. I can't stand the drama... stupid. why is everything so stupid?
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